The following is a stream of consciousness. Relax and enjoy the ride.
I see people all around me suffering. I suffered myself for a time, but I did not understand why. I didn’t even understand what was really going on.
I was consumed by my thoughts of reality. This reality of mine was real… oh so very real.
I was a one track mind. I was a train heading towards one destination. A destination I didn’t even know of.
However, there was just something in me. I wanted more. I wanted a lot. I kept pushing towards what I thought was where I should go. I continued with this flow.
Things start to happen when you go off course. Strange thoughts appear in your mind. You discover new opportunities. You dream of an ideal state. You may not be exactly clear of this state, but it’s there.
There is a problem. Your ego says don’t listen. You are just fooling yourself. Life is misery like everyone else says it to be.
No. It’s not.
We must obey. We must obey the signs that tell us this is where to go. If we don’t, we kill ourselves slowly. There is an ideal state. It does exist. You must find it.
It’s like something out of a fairy tale. If you go far back, you will realize that people instilled misery within you. These are people who never fulfilled their purpose. They lay trapped in the misery of others, so they know nothing but to instill misery in you.
Everyone has a calling. Everyone can live in peace. Yet, many don’t. This is my problem or challenge I must say.
I was stuck myself. I was lost, so I listened to people who seemed to have it well. I listened to popular media. I listened to my parents. I gained some guidance yet weak.
I pursued the idea of material wealth. I did it because I could. I had the type of mind that could succeed in our rigid society, so I felt obligated to.
I never felt right. I was stressed. I was suffering. I was ignoring myself.
I was getting exactly what I was wanting. Perfect grades. However, it was shortsighted. I had only listened to my parents and teachers who pushed grades.
I learned that you cannot rely on people directly around you. You must rely on those who are close to your ideal state.
This is where I started to awaken. I consumed information from the best. It started simply. It then grew to more and more. I broadened my horizon until I found what I was meant to do.
I was alive.
This is why I care.
P.S. I went with a stream of consciousness because it is as honest as you can get. These are my purest thoughts. If I did the same three years ago, it would have been very different. Try it some time. Just close your eyes and write. Just write. Don’t edit. Just write. It’s a great technique to see how cluttered your mind is with thoughts. If you find negative thoughts, make it an opportunity for change.
